Truth
Humanity
Justice

Formerly Mad, Bad or Sad?

What I Did On My Holidays

Following the successful and much-appreciated ethical and legal activity of Mad, Bad or Sad?, a UK-based survivors' group, instigated an unfounded attack against the credibility of the Director and WebManager of MBS? and other innocent readers and contributors. This is the story.
 
The Preceding Time Line

"If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools ..."

If, Rudyard Kipling

26th May 2005	Following a prelude, Phoenix Survivors get close up and personal.
30th May 2005	The Mad, Bad or Sad? homepage reflects the situation.
3rd-4th June 2005	I receive a 'final warning' letter from the National Probation Service, South Yorkshire Division.
3rd-5th June 2005	I telephone the Probation Office and speak to the Senior Probation Officer, Mr SN, who is unable to tell me anything over the telephone, but will speak with me on the 7th.
7th June 2005	The meeting takes place, between Mr SN (SPO), Ms II (my PO) and me. More details to follow.
7th June 2005	I send a Freedom of Information request to the National Probation Service, South Yorkshire Division, by email.
9th-11th June 2005	I receive the reply to the request. I telephone and speak to a representative to clarify the response.
14th June 2005	I receive a letter informing me of the forthcoming meeting on 16th June 2005.
15th June 2005 (up to 5.00 pm)	I spend most of the afternoon on the telephone, speaking to the Home Office Early Release and Recall Section (ERRS). I ask for clarification of the ability of the Home Secretary to add a licence condition to an operational licence, under the powers of the CJA 1991. They do not know. At around 4.15 pm, I telephone my Probation Officer to ask if it is possible that I will be recalled at the meeting of the 16th June 2005. I am told "possibly".
15th June 2005 (after 5.00 pm)	The Knock.
Here is my PO's version of the time line (which was in my possession much later - notice the date). Now consider paragraphs 2.6 and 2.7. Did the 'Chief Executive' state that this alleged 'linking' and/or 'inciting' had taken place following the meeting of the 7th June 2005? If not, did the fact that a warning (again, based on an allegation) had been made have any validity so as to justify recall? Were the NPS certain that the "warning ..." was "... not adhered to"? For the record, the last time I contacted the 'Chief Executive' was the 5th January 2004. What part did the National Crime Squad play in this? It gets better ... No evidence was adduced which confirmed that you had continued any contact with the complainant after your meeting with your supervisor on 7 June 2005 and your later recall. Ms II confirmed that at no point prior to recall were you informed of the details of the complainant. She confirmed she did not ask you to stop using your computer, accessing the website or not to contact the complainant during the warning meeting of 7 June 2005 and would not have done so until the amended licence was provided to you. Furthermore the details of the complainant were not disclosed at this meeting. She stated the warning letter issued on 2 June 2005 did not particularise your behaviour and no evidence was adduced that you had been in breach of your licence after your meeting with her on 7 June 2005. Although the complainant had inferred you had access to evidence photographs of her as a victim of sex abuse, Ms II did not present any such evidence to the Tribunal on this matter, nor could any information on this allegation be obtained from the police or the Victim Unit despite her efforts. Thus the panel accepted your statement that this was purely conjecture, which had been untested and not investigated and in addition your websites were not viewed and no information on the allegation regarding the shutting down of your website was put forward. (My emphasis). ESP Representations Against Recall - HMP Doncaster - 26 October 2005, Nigel Leigh Oldfield - JF8463, ESP/HMP, Doncaster 20th October 2005. The story gets even more interesting later, but first ...

The Knock

On the evening of 15th June 2005, at around 8.00 pm, I had a knock at the door. Opening it, I greeted a burly man and his small, wiry colleague standing on my doorstep.

Once having identified me and announcing that he was a police officer, the smaller man asked for entry. I requested to see his warrant, and, tactfully (bearing in mind, their car was not ‘plain-clothed’ and was drawing some neighbourly attention), he showed me his warrant card and I welcomed them in. The smaller officer informed me that I was being recalled to prison and, as I arranged my ‘legal bag’ and settled down Littledog for the night, I requested a reason for my ‘recall’, to which, he responded "inappropriate use of the Internet", but, other than that he did know any more details. I mentioned that I had been in communication with the Home Office Early Release and Recall Section, all afternoon, and he seemed surprised that they had not said anything - not as surprised as me, of course.

Once my flat was locked, it was quick drive to Doncaster Central Police Station, the usual warm welcome from the Custody Sergeant and into the cell. A few phone calls later and a visit from the duty solicitor started some important wheels turning.

The Following Morning

I was awake before breakfast arrived. Expecting a nice fried breakfast, as I had before, on remand in a Sheffield Magistrates' cell, I was disappointed to receive a microwaved sausage and potato creation - and no tea. The hours passed and then it was time for another little trip, from the police station to HMP & YOI Doncaster.

Welcome Back I sat in the cubicle of the prison van ... sole enemy of the state on this occasion. Gazing through the smoky glass, the corporate flag of the prison conglomerate fluttered, richly, alongside the union flag. As I concentrated on the union flag, it saw me, and wrapped itself, tightly, in misfeasant shame, hiding behind its pitiful flagpole.

My short and solo journey deposited me back into the prison. This time I decided that I was not going to make the nature of my offence clear, to the officers, until it was absolutely necessary. I was angry and if someone wanted to feel a taste of my suppressed rage, then so be it. It would also be interesting to see, if any harm did come to me, what would happen in terms of compensation. After all, money is short, I fancied the chance to vent a little anger and death holds no fear.

Your First Empty, Little Box I collect my little boxes of anger. The searing result of every slur, every injustice, every lie ... packed up in little of parcels of revenge. Every moment of anger, compressed into a vanishingly small volume of self-control. The density in each little box increases, the compartments of integrity holding the danger secure. My supply of frighteningly full, little boxes grow, row-by-row, column-by-column ... they stand in an orderly matrix, tidy white and still. Sometimes, when I sleep, someone helpfully opens a box ... and glorious damage is done. But I sleep peacefully ... resting, preparing more empty boxes, for tomorrow. When the final tomorrow comes, I will transport my little boxes to your world. For every minute of my pain, the anger will be converted into righteous effort, multiplied one-hundred fold. For every lie you have sown, you will reap orders of magnitude of payback from the tree of truth. For every single, infinitely dense tear of vicious intensity, released from my boxes, you will be swamped with the torrential floods of humanity ... ... and when all my little boxes lie empty, spent and silent ... ... you may create a collection of your own little boxes. Justice will be done, You have my word. Justice will be done.

Onto The Wing

Following the usual check-in at reception, shorter this time, since my details were still on file, down with my pants, a quick spin and I was escorted to the 'Induction' wing. The officer asked for the details of my offence and I told him, but he seemed lost in a world of his own and I was onto 3D. I knew the wing officer, he was fine, and he carried out the information checks and escorted me down to my shared cell - not on the vulnerable prisoner wing.

It did not take long.

I held my hand out to the skinny youth in the cell, apparently not long off 'detox' and with hate in his eyes. He refrained from accepting my offer. I insisted, in a pleasant way, and he shook my hand grudgingly. My bedding was then thrown in and the door clanged behind us. My, increasingly irate padmate, stood and mumbled something about "not having this". I asked him what was wrong and he told me clearly ""you are a fucking nonce". I stated that I may or may not be and he reiterated his position, saying that I had been here in April which, of course, was not true, but my spectacles, age and tummy confirmed my offence, in his eyes. He was upset that I was sitting on his t-shirt which he had left on the chair covering the water closet. I threw it to him and suggested that he did what he had to do. Following a few kicks on the metal door, a wing cleaner approached the window.

My temporary padmate indicated to his friend the nature of my supposed offence, as his rage increased. His colleague assured him it would be no problem, as it would be "dealt with later". He was not having it. His rage was now taken out on the door with little respite. So much so, the 'First Response Team' were soon to arrive. Mr adrenalin was bubbling, but it would reach saturation levels in the weeks to come.

My ex-padmate was held in discussion with a group of Prison Custody Officers as two others spoke calmly and quietly to me, asking if I was OK. I told them that I was fine, it was not really the lad's fault, as it was 'his pad'. It is 'our pad', I was informed, but we agreed on the point. I said that I would happily call 'Rule 45' or return to the VP wing (2C) if that would speed things up a little. The PCO said that it would not be a problem and I was escorted off the wing to the House Block Manager's office for reprocessing (along with a little light, offensive banter with the wing cleaner on the way out). The stoney faced and stern, female HBM (as many are), processed me with disdain and off I trotted to 2D. The VP wing had been shifted upstairs, following a recent reorganisation. No piss, shit and fire at the windows for me, this time.

Onto The Next Wing

So, I was back onto the VP wing and a quick settling-in with my new padmate. Some old faces were on the wing and it was time for tea.

Some days later, I had a visit from a Unit Manager and the Seconded Probation Officer. On both occasions, I refused to sign any documentation until I knew the reason for my 'false imprisonment' and my assertion that I was not a 'Schedule 1 Offender'. Needless-to-say, this led to a warning of 'non-compliance' and, following a bluff-calling wait with my bag packs, I received a written warning and a threat of removal to 'Basic Regime'. I advised them that they must do what they needed to do.

This was the flavour for the next few days and then I found out why I had been recalled.

Forgive Them, For They Know Not What They Do (Well, Not All of Them) Few things are as directly dangerous as the wounded, frightened and trapped animal. Unable to rationalise how to deal with its wounds, and incapable or too afraid to apply logic or reason, the animal has only one option - to attack. The rage experienced by the animal coaxes it to draw upon instinct and pack mentality, wherever possible, during its final hours or minutes. However, just as the animal could not begin to assess the nature of the hunter, employed to end its suffering, so it is bound to underestimate the power of its adversary towards the end. This is, of course, the difference between the simply sentient beast and the human animal. The capacity of humanity to overcome base animal responses, to develop techniques and resolve to overcome all obstacles, and to complete the task is absolute. Humanity should be about saving or improving life. The injured animal can never know this - such is its fate. With its attack, comes its defeat.

So, What Actually Happened?

Ironically, although I had been researching the penal system for some years, I had no idea of the recall process or the function or nature of The Parole Board. A short briefing from my legal team, by telephone, informed me that I would soon receive my 'Recall Pack'. It took 7 days for the pack to arrive.

There is much more to the story, and details will be released when I have received the response to a number of communications I have out there.

We are not responsible for the content of the linked sites and they are not responsible for us. We do not welcome or respond to sex offenders or their facilitators. We always report abuse and harassment to the appropriate authorities. The Phoenix Newswire, UPDATED DAILY Message: Close it down. We have been aware of this site and its agenda- and despite its persistent threatening, abusive attacks on Phoenix (and many other child protection agencies/professionals/groups) we have always taken the view, that regardless of what ˜we’ may think of the self pitying Nigel Oldfield and his ’opinions’- he is entitled to them, unfortunately, he brings nothing to the table, that we haven’t ALL heard before ... ... Furthermore, he/they don’t actually seem to be able to fully understand the ‘dictionary meaning’ of the words “supportive, empathy, care, tact and restraint”. Especially considering the countless undermining posts Oldfield has allowed or posted, branding Shy as nothing more than a selfish, lying, criminal, which most agree, goes far beyond ‘mere opinion’ and well into abuse. ' ... Shy says: “What bit of ‘NO’, doesn’t he/they understand? The worry is that users of the website have their warped opinions reinforced by other like minded people, which could lead to further abuse. Mr Oldfield has relentlessly tried to ‘insert himself’ into our lives, despite (amongst other things) clear warnings on our own website, that categorically states, ‘we do not respond to- or welcome- correspondence from sex offenders or their supporters’. So that there is no confusion Mr Oldfield: I/we do not want anything to do with you or your supporters. I/we do not want any kind of correspondence from you, directly or otherwise. I/we think your site is dangerous and should be closed down and despite what you think we are entitled to our opinions. Please note that ALL threats or abuse is immediately reported to the appropriate authorities.” Ends. The Phoenix Team, 22/05/05

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie - deliberate, contrived and dishonest - but the myth - persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."

John F. Kennedy

I will make this clear, here and now. I may have lost thousands of pounds, another 4.5 months away from the pet which I love and more heartbreak, hassle and fear for my family and friends etc etc, however, I forgive Shy Keenan for her actions which created this new chapter. My agenda do not include 'winning', only the pursuit of the truth. If it takes material loss, for me to maintain my integrity and honesty, and to access information which could not be made available any other way, then so be it.

I cannot forgive Ms Keenan on the behalf of others.

I shall continue to voice my evidence-based opinions and I should appreciate it if Ms Keenan restricts herself to the realities of what I say, in future, and not fabrications.

Re: OSC: Our work here is done. Disenfranchised members should contact ˜Stop it Now’ (click on the SIN link) good luck with that - we must get on - you know, bigger fish to fry and all that. Shy Keenan, 17/08/05

Excellent; When the media and other bodies tire of Ms Keenan ... when they lose interest in manipulating her for gain, I will still be here. I will be one of the few people, outside her circle, who understands emotional pain and how it makes us do things we may later regret. As in the case of other individuals, I have no animosity towards Ms Keenan. Together we are revealing the truth. I will always be here for Ms Keenan, when she is ready, and I will never turn her over for a quick buck, popularity or other negative vested interest. Conversely, when Ms Keenan steps out of line, she will be challenged - this is what someone who cares would do. As for now, I can offer no better advice than this: Long before bereavement counselling became an industry, wise people knew that true comfort comes only when all thoughts of retribution and self-pity have been washed away. Nobody ever recovered from a personal tragedy by re-living or wallowing in it. 'Outspoken Grief' - Editorial, Adrian J. Turner LLB, Justice of the Peace, 169(37), September 10th 2005.